To My Daughter: 26 Things I Want You to Know

I always dreamed of having a daughter that was a little extension of me. Now that I do, I wish I could take some of the me out of her. Even though she got my rigid perfectionism, she also got a lot of things I wish I’d had at her age.

She keeps me grounded. Her eight-year-old logic astounds me at times. Maybe that comes from pure childish innocence that we lose as adults. If so, I think a little regression would do us all some good.

She helps me in ways she may never know, and sometimes, I admit, I rely on her too much. She’s my extra set of hands in this single mother life, and I always make sure she knows just how much I appreciate her.

Like a young me, she thinks she has all the answers. As much as I can, I let her learn things for herself. It was hard to learn to choose my battles, but sometimes, you just have to let them fall so they can learn how to get back up.

One thing I have always told her was that I don’t know much, but I’ll always tell her what I know for sure. For Elise and all our daughters, this is what I know for sure:

I could not do what you do at your age. You’re brave and beautiful. You have stars in your eyes and flames in your heart and you don’t care who sees them.

Read 14 Things I Love About Being a Single Mom

You will be jealous of your friends. Just remember you also have traits and talents they don’t. Life is a lot more fun when you learn to build people up instead of tearing them down. I promise.

Less is more. Unless it’s mascara, in which case, more is never enough. But you don’t need mascara anyway.

Speaking of mascara, don’t pay more than $10.00 for it. Ever.

You should stay up all night at a sleep-over, but don’t take it out on your mom when you’re tired the next day.

You’ll feel defeated every now and then. It’s ok. Walk in like you own the place.

Find a hobby and get good at it. The time is going to pass anyway. You might as well have something to show for it.

Be nice to your siblings. Someday, they’ll be your only link to your past and the only ones who lived through the same memories you did.

If you’re ever on the fence about cutting your hair, do it. It grows back.

If you think your nails are dry, wait one minute longer than that before trying to use your hands.

Every little thing that makes you self-conscious now will turn into your greatest assets later. Appreciate them before age takes them away.

Weight is nothing more than a number. Being healthy is far more important than the size you wear.

Take care of your favorite dolls and books. Someday, you’ll want to give them to your little girl.

Read Full-Tilt Boy: The Wreckage of Raising Sons

Slamming your bedroom door will get you attention. It just won’t be the kind you want.

I know you’ll make fun of me and the music I listen to and the clothes I wear. It’s a rite of passage for daughters and moms. But, just remember, someday, your kids will do the same.

If you’re thinking of using hair dye of any kind, pay someone at a salon to do it and please, oh please, pick a natural color.

You have more courage than I do when it comes to singing and dancing. Don’t lose it.

You’ll swear there are days I don’t love you because I keep you from going somewhere or doing something you really want to. It will always be my job to protect you first.

On those days, you’ll tell me you hate me. You’ll think you do, but you don’t really mean it.

You don’t understand why your dad and I are divorced. Someday you might know the reasons, but I’ll pray you never learn the lessons first-hand.

If there’s a breath in me, I’ll worry about you.

Find other ways thank skimpy clothes to get people’s attention…like your mind.

You don’t have to be the loudest girl in the room to be heard.

Never underestimate a good bubble bath and a good French manicure.

It will always feel like yesterday I held you in my arms for the first time. No matter how old you are, how big you get, how far you go, I will still see you as my baby.

You’ll never know just how much I rely on you. You’ll never know how many times you kept me from being scared or losing my mind. The boys are the reason I have no choice but to be grounded, but you help me figure out to stay there.

You’re so good at doing some things I should be doing for you. One of these is understanding when I don’t always have enough hands or enough time.

On the days I have exceptional doubt about myself and my abilities to make anything good, one look at you proves I did something right somewhere to deserve to call you my little girl.

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